I made all the typical first time parent mistakes too when it came to the birth. I ran to the hospital at the first sign of real labor. Was only 2-3 centimeters when I arrived and instead of heading home, which to be honest I don’t know that I knew was an option, they admitted me. Back then they monitored constantly and made me lay only on my left side. I had no idea that I was officially on some sort of clock. After laboring through the night, my labor had slowed down and not much change in dilation, the doctor said I needed pitocin. Ok, if he says that’s what I need, then I must. Epidural now on board, pitocin is started. Everything seemed fine at first. Then suddenly things were changing. The baby is showing signs of distress; we need to do a c-section right now. There are suddenly a lot of people in my room then running me down a hall to the OR. They saved my baby’s life! Your baby was just too big to fit. Or so they told me afterwards. I didn’t hear the phrase “pit to distress” until many years later. At the time, I hung on to that idea that they had saved her that she may have died. I loved the drama of the story I had to tell and oh did I tell it.

When I got pregnant with my second child, there was no way I was not going to try to have a vaginal birth. I spent my entire pregnancy being told by me doctor that it was risky and I really shouldn’t do it. No one around me understood why I wouldn’t just schedule my c-section. It just didn’t seem right to me. During labor with him, the back labor was horrible. The nurse reminded me on several occasions that no one really ever has a vbac. It just doesn’t work. Why was I putting myself through this she would ask. After a few hours of back labor, I decided she and everyone else must be right. Go ahead, there must just be something wrong with my body, cut him out, and they did. Another big baby. That must be it.

Years later I would become a Doula and learn all the ins and outs of birth. I suddenly had to process my births all over again, but this time with the truth. My passion grew like a wildfire. I couldn’t get enough. I wanted everyone to know the truth. Why aren’t women being told these things, I would demand! The anger would come, the frustration and the desire to save everyone. Reality comes crashing in at some point. I can’t save them all, no matter how passionate I am. I can only help the ones that seek me out. I couldn’t talk to the random moms in the park about why the c-section they had was not because of something being wrong with them or their body. They didn’t get it, nor did they want to hear it. I realized quickly that they have to be ready and have a desire to know.

Like moths to a flame, the vbac mom’s started seeking me out. The universe works that way. You attract things. After awhile doctors who supported doulas started referring their vbac patients to me often. So I became to vbac queen. I loved helping those families have successful vbac’s. I wanted to be that cheerleader telling them they could, knowing they were being bombarded by people who said they couldn’t . It also helped me heal from my own pain.

The desire to have another baby became overwhelming. It took me three and a half years to talk my husband into having another child. I had married him with two kids and he had two kids. Four kids was a lot already. Eventually he would come around. After 6 years of being a doula I would finally get my chance. I would fix it all. Heal all the pain and disappointment. I would not only have a vaginal birth, but I would do it at home with no drugs.

It had been 12 years since my last child had been born. I had so much knowledge, this would be great! My daughter’s birth seemed to be going ok, except my back was really hurting. No matter how much prep work I had done to make sure she was in a good position, she never budged from way back on my right side. I didn’t care, I was going to do this, back labor or not.

Once active labor began I didn’t tell anyone about the sharp burning pain in front near my incision sight with every surge. I knew full well that I would be off to the hospital in no time because it was a clear sign that something wasn’t right. There was no way I was going to the hospital. Besides, I was progressing well. When my midwife arrived, I was already 6 centimeters, further than either of my other two births. I would progress to 8 only 2 hours later and the baby was very low. I kept feeling the urge to push. It would come and I would begin to push, but my back, oh my back. Then this sharp burning pain would shoot through me and I would have to stop pushing. It hurt too much. I would do this over and over again for 4 hours. Something wasn’t right. Eventually my surges would spread out from 2 minutes apart to 20 minutes apart. I told my midwife that something had to change, break my water or something. Out of the water and up the stairs to my bedroom we go so she can monitor the baby while breaking my water. She didn’t even have to; it broke on its own just as she was going to do the exam. When she did my exam, I knew something was wrong. In my head I was thinking “oh my god, I’m still the same”. To my dismay it was much worse than that. My baby had gone back up and my cervix had closed back down to 3 centimeters. I’m pretty sure my eyes bulged out of my head. I was so over it. They tried to convince me to stay and rest. I was getting good breaks in between. I knew it was time to share the sharp burning I had been dealing with. Needless to say, there was no more discussion and I was off to the hospital in no time flat.

I would tell all the hassle about what happened after we arrived at the hospital, but it seems pointless. The errors were ridiculous and it took from 9:30am until 3:30pm before my daughter was born. This time frame alone should give you an idea of how much challenge there was. Needless to say she was delivered by c-section. I wound up being in surgery for almost 2 hours because I had so much scar tissue. It turns out that this was the cause of the sharp burning pains I had. The scar tissue was so thick it prevented my baby from moving into a good position and also from allowing me from pushing her out.

I was devastated. My previous c-sections would come back to haunt me after all. I never imagined this could happen. Here I was the vbac queen. I had all the knowledge. How could this happen to me? No one doubted for a minute that my homebirth vbac would happen.

My birth industry family all looked on the bright side. Now all that scar tissue is gone, when you have another baby it will be different. Only 4 months later I would find out I was pregnant again. Had enough time passed for my scar to heal? Everyone supported me and loved me into believing I just had to try again. I wouldn’t just throw in the towel. I would be better prepared for the possibility and the likelihood of another c-section this time. I just had to try.

On my due date, surges started, but I knew it was early and my instinct told me it would still be a couple of days. The next day the surges were still there, stronger but pretty far apart. That night though I knew it was going to be a long one. I was able to sleep for about an hour when it was obvious that sleeping was no longer on option. I relaxed with my hypno-babies cd and rocked in a chair for a couple of hours alone in the dark. They were still 10 minutes or so apart. 3am came and suddenly they were rocking my world. Strong, powerful and 6 minutes apart. It was time to call in the troops. My husband woke up and called my doula. She lives close by so she arrived less than 20 minutes later. My husband explained how far apart they were, only to have 4 surges in the first 12 minutes she was there. Things were rocking. The next call went out to my midwives, who would come about an hour later. Everything seemed perfect. I was not having any of the same feelings I had had with my last birth, except my back was beginning to hurt. I knew the baby was in a great position. This must just be because the baby is moving down. I still worried I would only be 3 centimeters or something crazy like that. At my request, my midwife checked me right away. I was almost complete! Just a small lip! Oh joy! I cried, I was so happy, there were no words. Back in the water I went. Wait for the urge to push comes. I did, but it just didn’t come. Five hours would pass. My back, my damn back! It was really seriously hurting. All the feelings from my last birth came crashing in. I felt like I was on this horrible roller coaster ride and couldn’t get off. I was doing the same loop over and over again. Maybe if I just try and push, Oh God no, that hurts even more.  Let’s check again.  My midwife said, I think I feel scar tissue. Seriously? Scar tissue? Wasn’t I the one who just got all this attention for writing an article about scar tissue and the issues it can cause during labor for my clients? Not considering I had any myself.

I’m pretty sure my exact words were, “well, rub the crap out of it then!” She explained that it wouldn’t feel very good. I expressed that it couldn’t be worse than what was going on already. There was some cursing and homeopathic involved and off I went, trying different positions and then eventually off to the water again. I’m pretty sure from this point forward I used up a good year supply of curse words. My favorite being the F word. I don’t talk this way normally but for whatever reason the F word was the only thing in my vocabulary that seemed strong enough of a word to express myself. It had power. Lots of whining commenced as well. “I can’t do this you guys”. “Seriously, I can’t”. I would say this to anyone that would listen to me. I would change people hoping that one of them would take my side. They all just kept saying I could do it. I needed to stop saying that I couldn’t. This is what you wanted. The “F” I did. I didn’t sign up for this shit! Then I would change and start chanting during the surge “I can do this” then about halfway through, I would say “no, no I can’t”. Please take me to the hospital! It’s not working, just cut him out. Forget it!

I did start feeling pressure a bit so I tried pushing a little. It hurt like hell, but I had to just try. I pushed and pushed, nothing seemed to change. I’m back to whining and cussing again. Let’s go inside and check again. See if the baby has moved down more. My response is no! I’m done, this baby is not coming out. I have been pushing with all my might and he is not budging, oh yeah and it hurts like a Mother F-er! Up the stairs I go anyway, whining all the way. I was ready to drive myself to the hospital, call a cab, whatever it took to get there. Let’s push past this lip, you can do it! Everyone is chanting, come on Dawn. My husband, come on honey, you can do this. I’m pushing and screaming, because OH MY GOD it hurts.

Here he comes, you are doing it!

No I’m not! He is not coming! I don’t feel him coming. You are all just saying that! I’m gonna be here for 2 more hours pushing and he won’t come! I’m not gonna do it! (I’m still pushing my guts out while saying all this.)I hear my husband beside me, honey I see his head.

No you don’t!

Come on Dawn, push! Why would we lie to you? Look, touch his head.

I didn’t feel it!

Push again! Oh my God the pressure suddenly! Ok, maybe he is coming.

Dawn he is crowning, feel his head again.

Holy crap, he really is there! I feel his wrinkly head. Wow that ring of fire is for real and serious.

Come on Dawn, nice and slow now. Ease your baby out. Slow, Slow, Slow, now stop.

The relief of his head coming out was fabulous but now, what about the rest of him. Is he stuck? What’s up with that? Come on, seriously? I just wanted the rest of him to slip out. I pushed every inch of this guy out. I should have known he was big.

Dawn, reach down and pull your baby out. Dawn, get your baby.

And I did. I reached down and put my hands under his arms and pulled him the rest of the way out, on to my chest with pure disbelief. Only 20 minutes had passed since I was calling that cab to come get me and here he was, in my arms, on my bed at home. Bigger by 9 whole ounces than my previous kids. So much for that theory.

It has taken a full day for me to process and wrap my brain around what I accomplished. I think I made it very clear in this story that this would have never happened without my birth team. It turned out that I was the only one in the room who didn’t believe I could do it. Thank God for that. I find it ironic, the doula, who is always the cheerleader, never imagined she would need that for herself. If it had been left up to me, I would be miserable lying in a hospital bed recovering from a c-section. Not sitting here in my bed feeling a little sore just a day and a half later sharing this story. God bless the passionate people who love birth and loved me and my baby enough not to let me give up.  There will never be enough words to express my gratitude.

I have always shared sympathy with my doula clients especially the vbac mamma’s, but now it will be on a whole new level.

I remember in the beginning feeling helpless in so many situations. If the birth didn’t go smoothly, I didn’t really know enough to help. I knew what a posterior baby was, but didn’t necessarily know what to do about it. I knew a few positions but nothing more than that. I felt like I had to learn so much through trial and error. I hadn’t yet really immersed myself in the birth community, so I didn’t really have the chance to talk with more seasoned doulas. Then even if I did get the chance to talk with them, I only knew the questions to ask after the “problem” had occurred.

My goal is to help balance out the learning curve some. To teach younger doulas how to avoid some of the most common pitfalls of being a support person, like not going too soon. It took me several 24+ hour births before I realized that I didn’t need to jump and go the second labor got going. I learned to qualify labor and the client, to find the best time to go. I learned that mama typically does much better in the beginning when she is not a “watched pot”. I also learned the hard way, that not every family is a match and just because they choose you doesn’t mean you have to choose them. I would leave an interview thinking “I hope they don’t want to hire me” and when they did, I didn’t say no. Inevitably the relationship didn’t develop as it would otherwise and I would kick myself for not listening to my intuition. I firmly believe that every woman who wants a doula should have one. It just doesn’t have to be me. I want to help new doulas learn to navigate this and help them avoid the challenges sooner than later.

It took me years before I knew all the little tricks to using the hospital bed for positioning. Or using the rebozo to help turn a baby or doing belly lifts. How to figure out if the baby is posterior and what to do about it. These are all things that can be shared and taught.

The most passionate subject of all for me is Cervical Scar Tissue. This is not something I learned in any Doula Training. It’s a serious issue in birth today and very few people are talking about it. Every doula should know about Cervical Scar Tissue and how it affects labor. My goal is that it will soon be included in their basic training course, but until then I will be diligent and passionate about it and spread the news the best I can.

The 6 class series starts November 3, 2011. Each class will be in the first two weeks of the month in November, December and January and last approximately 2 hours each. All classes will be recorded and available for download. I will offer the live series again starting in March 2012. The live online doula workshops are fully interactive. You have the opportunity to ask questions not only of me, but also other birth professionals that join the class. This provides each student with a great support system. Each class will cost $19.99 or you can purchase the entire series at a discount of $100.

The most important thing you can do for your client is to continue to be educated. I’m here to help.

In my first year of being a birth doula, I had this client. She desperately wanted a VBAC (vaginal birth after c-section). She told me how in her first birth that she was in labor for hours. Waters broken, Pitocin, epidural, tubes and wires coming from every direction. During her extremely long ordeal the only change to her cervix was the effacement (the thinning of the cervix). Her cervix never opened at all. I assumed at the time that this was because her baby was just not ready to come out. This time could and would be different. She would wait for labor to start. We would stay at home and labor where she was comfortable. When the day came, that is exactly what she did. Her labor seemed to be moving right along. When we got to the hospital I expected they would tell her that she was 4-5 cms. Instead what we got was, 100% effaced but only a finger tip dilated. I think I may have even gasped out loud. I immediately started beating myself up in my head. How could I have read her labor so wrong? 6 more hours would pass with her, her husband and I working hard. Moving from the birth ball to the shower and I swear every inch of that hospital room in between. After 6 hours, still a finger tip dilated. Obviously there is something wrong with her cervix, but what. No one seemed to know. Not the two different nurses that we had the pleasure of getting to know or the doctor who we saw just once when he was coming to explain that she would be having yet another c-section. This is one of those moments in my career that I really wish I knew then what I know now.

I have never stopped thinking of her. There has always been this part of me that wanted to call her and say “I know what it is now, can you have another baby so we can fix it?” I just know this would not make her feel any better. Instead, I keep her close to me whenever I ask the question now during each and every prenatal visit, “Have you ever had any procedures done to your cervix?” Every single birth professional that is assisting clients should be asking this question.

Look, I’m not a scientist, researcher, doctor and anything else that would know how to study this stuff. What I am is a doula that has had the pleasure of attending over 100 births. I know that the client I mentioned above was not the only one who had a c-section because of scar tissue during my earlier days. I can look back and think of all the clients that seemed to be in transition (7-10 cms) but when checked were still only 4cm. Stuck there for hours and hours. Then wondering for days after their c-section if there was something I could have done differently to help.

A New Day!

The day that changed my life as a doula forever, my very own sister was having a baby. She was having her second baby. I told her how great it would be and it would be so much faster than her first. When she started having surges just a few days before her due date, we were excited. I went to her home (3 hrs away) and stayed the whole weekend. She had surges off and on all weekend but nothing really steady. I went home after three days and decided that maybe my being there was freaking her out. For the next week, she had surges every day. I kept telling her it was going to be great. All this work would get her cervix open slowly and gently.  Then she visited her midwife. She was just a finger tip dilated. I chalk this up to my sister being a big drama queen. All the surges have been Braxton Hicks! The next weekend comes and I find myself making the drive because this time her water broke. Now we know this baby is coming. She has mild labor, 7 minutes apart for 16 hours. Nothing is changing. I suggest we head in. Something is just not right. We get to the hospital and a different midwife she has never met comes to check her. 100% effaced but only a finger tip dilated. What?! Are you kidding me?! Then the words that changed my life. “Have you even had any procedures done to your cervix?” My sister says “yes, I had cryo surgery done a couple of years ago to remove pre cancer cells”. Midwife “ok well that makes sense, you have scar tissue on your cervix, and I can feel it.” Huh? Scar tissue on the cervix? Why had I never heard of this? My client from before comes rushing back to my head. Of course! The midwife proceeds to explain to my sister that she is going to try and massage the cervix and break the scar up. With some discomfort for my sister, she went from a finger tip dilated to 3 cms in a matter of minutes. An hour later she was 4 cms and an hour after that my nephew was born. Once the scar tissue had completely released, she flew to 10 cms.

As you can imagine, I asked that Midwife a ton of questions. I wanted to know all I could about this scar tissue stuff. Besides “massaging”, what can you do before hand? She shared her knowledge with me. Told me that HPV is so very common and more and more women are having these  standard procedures done, but are never informed that it most likely will leave scar tissue. Although less common, this includes women who have ever had a D & C after a miscarriage or abortion.

Once I was armed with the knowledge, my successful VBAC rate shot up as did my vaginal birth rate in general. I would ask the question and if the answer was yes, I would tell them what I knew. I would suggest that they mention it to their doctor so that if anything came up during labor, would he or she be willing to massage the cervix. Also I learned from that Midwife that evening primrose oil taken orally and vaginally would help break up the scar tissue before labor. (Orally taken the entire pregnancy and vaginally each night only after 36 weeks).

Since this very important day 3 1/2 years ago, I know I have prevented c-sections. Several times in the hospital I have asked the doctor to please, when he is checking mama to feel for scar tissue.  Almost every time the doctor has said “oh yeah, I feel some sort of knot here” or some other variation of that statement. This then leads to a question of; can you try and rub it out?

Why Doctors aren’t talking about this is beyond me. I honestly think they don’t know that it is an issue. I don’t believe it is something they are being taught in medical school. We all need to start talking about it because unless women are being asked the question, they just don’t know.

Research suggests that allowing a baby to “cry it out” causes brain damage.

by Dr. Stephen Juan

Experts warn that allowing a baby to “cry it out” causes extreme distress to the baby. And such extreme distress in a newborn has been found to block the full development of certain areas of the brain and causes the brain to produce extra amounts of cortisol, which can be harmful.

According to a University of Pittsburgh study by Dr. DeBellis and seven colleagues, published in Biological Psychiatry in 2004, children who suffer early trauma generally develop smaller brains.

A Harvard University study by Dr. Teicher and five colleagues, also published in Biological Psychiatry, claims that the brain areas affected by severe distress are the limbic system, the left hemisphere, and the corpus callosum. Additional areas that may be involved are the hippocampus and the orbitofrontal cortex.

The Science of Parenting (2006) by Dr. Margot Sunderland points out some of the brain damaging effects that can occur if parents fail to properly nurture a baby — and that includes forcing them to “cry it out.” Dr. Sunderland, who is the director of education and training at the Centre for Child Mental Health in London, draws upon work in neuroscience to come to her conclusions and recommendations about parenting practice.

In the first parenting book to link parent behavior with infant brain development, Dr. Sunderland describes how the infant brain is still being “sculpted” after birth. Parents have a major role in this brain “sculpting” process.

Dr. Sunderland argues that it is crucial that parents meet the reasonable emotional needs of the infant. This is helped along by providing a continuously emotionally nurturant environment for the infant.

Allowing a baby to “cry it out” when they are upset will probably be regarded as child abuse by future generations.

This is what every woman deserves; a woman who will preserve their birth experience by giving loving physical, emotional and knowledgeable support. As Ina May Gaskin says “your body is not a lemon”. If you know and believe you are capable, then you will be.
I provide birth services to families in the North County of San Diego. I believe passionately in the birth process and am incredibly blessed to be doing what I love. Giving Birth to a baby is so much more than a physical phenomenon; it is a key life event full of emotion and meaning. Whether this is your first baby or seventh, if you are expecting twins or even more, I can help to ease the transition through birth and the postpartum period.

Learn how to avoid those first costly mistakes, which so many parents make. All without the dreaded “Cry it Out”.

The Natural Newborn Sleep Schedule will teach you:

• How to get your newborn on a routine in just the first few weeks, reducing the risk of postpartum depression
• It will address growth spurts, sleep cycles and what is a normal amount of sleep for a newborn, so that you can have a better understanding o f baby
• How often to feed your baby, making it stress free
• How to create a great bedtime routine

The Natural Newborn Sleep Schedule will cover important tips about:

• The importance of swaddling and which proven techniques work
• The use of white noise and what to avoid
• The magic of Twilight feeding

It’s rare of find all of these things in one quick video. This program is “Attachment Parenting” friendly.  It will have long term affects on your baby, also helping reduce behavior problems as your baby grows older.

For only $14.99 you receive the video.  You can download The Natural Newborn Sleep Schedule video right to your computer, no hassle of shipping and playing the waiting game. Start getting better sleep tonight with your newborn.